Trust the Unraveling

The impacts of a "pandemic" on our psyche and relationships are finally being felt as a collective.

I've been waiting for this, but you just don't know when it's going to sink in, and you, anyway, you can't force it. Grief comes when it comes. It doesn't ask for an invitation.

Today, it felt like deep frustration, like a pot simmering to a boil.

Was it the two days of rain keeping me indoors,

or the millionth time that my partner forgot to communicate something that seemed obviously noteworthy to me,

or was it my dog pooping on the rug,

or my child's ADHD acting up,

or that no one showed up to my yoga class after rearranging my morning to make it happen,

or is it that they are STILL wearing masks at school,

or that I didn't get up early enough to get to the gym again this morning,

or that I ate that moose crunch that my mom sent me last night before going to bed,

or is it that that I'm finding myself missing an old life that doesn't resonate with me fully any more,

or is it my distant family who is separated by a lot more than miles,

or how my house is never as clean as I want it,

or is the the pile of laundry taunting me again?

What I do know is that the cause of my frustration is never "out there." Each item on this list simply is, and when I'm internally feeling aligned, they don't bother me. They are just a part of life.

Which is perhaps what has come to frustrate me the most - that something is off, and I can't get it "on". There is some internal misalignment happening that I can't place my finger on, and my mind wants to KNOW. It wants to control the situations that are out of my control - the state of the world, the way that my child's mind is wired, that dog who doesn't like to poop in the rain, and the family who chooses not to stay connected.

It feels like that squirmy tension that comes right before something new is born, and I've learned to trust that everything is about to open up in ways that I cannot see, but I have no idea how. There's nothing to "do", except hunker down and sit quietly in the center of it all - in the eye of the storm.

So much of the last couple of years has been a practice of sitting in this space.

And I feel how tired most of us are from trying to hold it all together so tenuously. Waiting for the other shoe to drop once we start to relax into a new normal.

The outcome is apathy. It has a sneaky way of wrapping its icy cold hands around the heart, numbing our ability to feel a true spectrum of emotions.

It's a survival response. And on some level, we have all be surviving through this disorienting reality.

One of the reasons that I love keeping journals is that they show up with the perfect message from my past self to my present one, almost like I wrote it then for me to read in this particular moment.

When I sat down to write this tonight, I open up an old journal from 2014, the year that I led my first women's group called the Shakti Spiral.

Out of it fell a sticky note upon which I had scribbled the poem below.

Carl Jung believed in synchronicities, with as much conviction as I do (one of the many reasons I love his work). It's like a deja vu, when two parts of your journey converge, reminding you that you are on the right track, exactly at the right time, and to trust your steps - to trust the unraveling.

Trust the Unraveling

Trust the unraveling, the way that it spins your world around,

Leaving you dizzy and uncertain, unsure of the ground.

Trust the way it flips your reality, leaving you to question what's true.

How right and wrong are no longer facts, they are simply about your view.

Trust the way that it asks you to accept things just as they are,

and then to decide if you will shut down or leave the door ajar.

Trust that the only way to expand is to finally let go of control

of the old familiar "safe holds" that keep you in a fishbowl.

Trust that you aren't spinning down, but out and up to new heights,

with new allies and opportunities to shine your bright light.

Trust that you haven't met your new world yet because you're still hiding out in the old,

And that what comes from a process of refinement are diamonds and gold.

I know it feels scary and I know you feel small,

but you can trust the unraveling, dear. It's time to answer a greater call.

Invisioning us all spinning new worlds together, side by side, unraveling an old world so that a new one can be spun.

#jungianlifecoach #carljung #individuation #selfrealization

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