by Andrea Spacek
Insecurity isn’t an innate feeling that human beings have. In other words, it is not an emotion by nature, it is one that is nurtured. Yet, it’s one of the most pervasive feelings that people in our culture experience on a daily basis.
Most of us walk around feeling insecure about all sorts of things - how much money we have in the bank, how toned our body is or isn’t, how we look and are perceived by others, how we share what’s on our hearts, how intelligent we will come off to be, how worthy of love we are, and on and on.
But, pure consciousness doesn’t feel abundance or lack, ugly or beauty, smart or stupid, worthy or unworthy. It just IS.
So where does insecurity come from?
It comes from wanting something that you don’t “think” you have already.
Think about it.
Why would you feel insecure about not being toned if you didn’t want to be more toned? Why would you feel judged by others if you weren’t already judging yourself? And, more importantly, why do you REALLY want to be toned in the first place?
Is it because you are inherently wired to have a certain looking body that suspiciously resembles the type of body that you see on TV, magazines, or in movies?
Is it because you think that toned people have more fun, or love themselves more, or have better sex?
Or is it because one of the boys at school called you Chubby Checker in 2nd Grade and it’s still clouding your self image?
We all walk around stuffed full of stories. Of memories, floating around, out of context, from the viewpoint of a small child or pre-pubescent youth, coloring our lens of who we are, what we are worthy of having, and what people expect from us.
And then it is decided, by the elusive character called the subconscious, that you ARE that pile of stories.
When in truth, you are pure potential, trapped only by your lack of perception, and then, your lack of faith and the will to change it.
But, here’s what’s AWESOME about insecurity.
Now that you’re “on to” the truth about it, that it’s a story that you are hanging on to to stay (whatever emotion you are feeling in response), you GET to take it as a delicious opportunity to feel the intense sensations that go along with it.
That’s right, rather than shutting them off when they start to arise and the heat starts to build, and your cheeks get flushed, or your belly starts to turn, you tap into that electric current, and harness it into a propeller of ACTION rather than retraction, moving you TOWARD the thing that you want, rather than away from the thing that you desire.
The other day, I was asked to teach a Yoga class to a room that I knew would be fully packed, at a studio that I don’t feel “at home” in, for a teacher who has a "groupie" following. When asked, I felt my stomach drop, contraction in my solar plexus, a flutter in my chest, and a sense of dread and excitement all at once.
Because I am committed to growth and to spreading my medicine every opportunity I get, the only answer was “YES”, so that’s what I said. But inside, I felt insecure, a little unworthy, a little unsure of how I would be received, and pretty dysregulated.
So I sat with the feelings, allowed them to grow and move in my body, and used my breath, self-inquiry and grounding techniques to hold space around the intense somatic response that would have preferred I stay home and hide in my She-Shed, typing away.
Then I kept my focus on the experience that I wanted to have, and how I wanted to show up for the people taking the class, and I channeled all of that intense sensation into a powerful experience for myself and others, which was really freaking FUN and enlivening.
Through "the work", insecurity has proven to be a doorway, rather than a wall, for my sense of SECURITY and worthiness.
So if you’re finding yourself in a closet or a she-shed, feeling trapped by a sense that you are unworthy of that which you deeply desire, just know that what you're actually dealing with is an intense sensation that will pass, not an actual wall.
One day, you will decide that it's worth the risk to feel, rather than avoid, the intense sensation in your body.
And you will discover that you are thrilled, rather than petrified, by the power of the sensation.
And you will breathe it all the way down through your body, until it propels you to open the door and walk right out of your closet toward that which you long to have.
Through that act, you'll discover the powerful force of creation that you were born to be.
Head high, heart forward, feet underneath you.
Security comes from within, it is claiming your place in the circle of things, and letting yourself be claimed by life.
It is to finally accept that you belong here.
Are you ready to come out of the closet? Transformational coaching is a deeply nurturing, supportive process of uncovering the layers of subconscious programming that are serving to keep you stuck in "the closet", away from the life that you want to truly live. Set up a FREE intro session to begin the unpacking. Why wait one more day?